I think if people had any idea how jealous or how lonely my life feels compared to almost every person I know...
All those people would think I'm completely and utterly pathetic, and who knows maybe I am just that pathetic!

I mean seriously if I new someone like me a year ago today I would think I'm pathetic.

Hell I've lived my entire 23 years and I have to say for a good part of it I have been a complete pathetic mess....

At some point I have to say to hell with the fact my first girlfiriend/puppy love killed herself. And boo fucking hoo my daddy was an alcoholic and hit, verbally abused and till this day just can't figure me out... I mean who gives a shit and why should I give a shit that I constantly feel like I've been taken advantage of or been pushed to the background.

Maybe it is pathetic that I refuse to take the time to get to know most people, and maybe it's my own fault I don't trust anyone.

Okay so maybe I'm pathetic because I don't have a clue on where my life should go.

Or maybe I'm even more pathetic because I have completely become resigned to my fate of being alone. I mean who would ever want to take the time to fall in love with me? My baggage is heavy, I'm ugly, I lack any real direction and I don't even remember the last time I truly trusted someone.... Not to mention the rate in which people decided to stop being my friend without any warning makes me wonder will anyone ever stick friend or lover alike....

*sigh*

I'm just tired and I needed to rant to no one....

Because seriously no one reads this....

I mean I wouldn't read this if I was someone else...

But I guess none of this matters because it is blocked and even then which one of my "friends": would even take the time....

Stale || Fresh

Leftovers...

A life time isn't aslong as it use to be - August 24, 2006
Heart bleeding in the end - May 05, 2006
Heads spinning - March 17, 2006
Kind of interesting - February 23, 2006
ten years in the making - February 19, 2006