* I'm trying to keep some part of me optimistic, yet somehow I never thought it would be just this difficult.

* I think the worst thing of all is that the only time I feel kind of at peace. That I feel my joy return to me is when I'm not in this house. Not even my bedroom is any kind of sanctuary anymore.

* Jedd's trying to get me a job but it seems like because my weakest point is decorating cakes, and that I haven't done it in a year may cancel out my chances.

What's worse is that this realization makes me want to cry... I really feel like crying, hell I feel like I need it but I just cant.

* I'm grabing at straws hoping Jedd's roommate moves out like is suspected, I need that room. I need my life back... Mind you it isn't an exciting or very special kind of life, but it's mine no less and I want it back.

* My Father and I are hardly on speaking terms I barely even said hi to him today. I'm not sure if he wants to talk but I can assure you I have nothing to say. He bought me two self help books today ... Because yes I'm the one who needs the help! I refuse to read them, maybe I'm being the childish one here but fuck it.

* I got a new pair of Vans today ... So yeah that was the highlight / happy moment in my life today.

* I need a vacation, or at least a fun day trip with some decent company ... Anyone up for a journey?!?

All in all I guess this is where that other shoe that always falls when things are going well actually falls!

summerland:everclear

Let's just drive your car

We could drive all day

Let's just get the hell away from here

For I am sick again

Just plain sick to death

Of the sound of my own voice

We could leave behind another wasted year

Get some cheap red wine and just go flying

We could do the things,

All the things you wanted to

No one cares about us anyway

I think I lost my smile

I think you lost yours too

We have lost the power to make each other laugh

Let's just leave this place

And go to Summerland

Just a name on the map

Sounds like heaven to me

We could find a town

Be just how we want to be

No one here really cares about us anyway

We could find a place

Make it what we want it to be

No one really gives a fuck about us anyway

We could live just like we want to live

No one here really cares about us anyway

We could be everything we want to be

We could get lost in the fall

Glimmer sparkle and fade

The sparkle and fade

Fall glimmer sparkle and fade

Forget about our jobs at the record store

Forget about all the losers that we know

Forget about all the memories that keep you down

Forget about them

We could lose them in the sparkle and fade

We could leave them behind in the sparkle and fade

Yeah sparkle and fade

Fall glimmer sparkle and fade

Stale || Fresh

Leftovers...

A life time isn't aslong as it use to be - August 24, 2006
Heart bleeding in the end - May 05, 2006
Heads spinning - March 17, 2006
Kind of interesting - February 23, 2006
ten years in the making - February 19, 2006