Okay so I was suppose to have tomorrow off, okay so it's only me working 6 to 10 but still it was my day off dammit and I wanted to do something that night!!!

Okay so why do I have to work well in my own opinion it's because Rudy's an idiot and I have no say in even my work.... Okay so Rudy was supposed to work but for some fucking reason he decided to wait till the last minute to mention to Richard he starts school tomorrow! So he can't work but his ass doesn't even call him or wait around till he comes in at night... Nope he leaves a note and just tells him to call him...

So I try calling him three times to night and he doesn't answer his phone... So without even asking I get stuck with his shift! I told Richard I was busy and he acts like he doesn't hear me at the end of the day I have to work....

What sucks even more is I left a message for Rudy to call me and as per usual he doesn't call me back... Yeah I think I dislike people maybe a tad bit more...

Maybe I should just grow a back bone? But then again I really rather just suck it up and do this then be a bitch and refuse to show up...

However I'm always covering for people so they so owe me!

* Okay so in other news I'm kind of looking forward to watching Father of the Pride! I might have to set my VCR for that one! Hey don't look at me like that I don't get excited about TV shows that often.

* So I need some help, I wanna change my AOL screen name but I can't think of anything that's really fitting. So I'm a tad bit curious anyone have any interesting ideas?

* Let's see what else to talk about? Hmmmm Well lately sometimes at night you know when you're left all alone and it's just you and the night sky? It's this time of night where my mind works over time, this is the time of night I feel like just maybe I'm going nowhere fast. I hate feeling this way but life just doesn't seem to be going the way I would like it to be going. But with everything that's going wrong, and everything I'm trying to fix I have this over powering feeling of being alone. I know I'm not alone I have some kick ass friends, and not all of my Family has brushed me to the side. Not to really say any of them have, I mean not really anyway. But I mean there's people in my life who at some point I guess have just forgotten about me or I guess only come around when they need something or when they got nothing left to do. Maybe that's not a fair assumption but some I don't think I'm being too far off... Not to mention I'm still kind of bitter that one or two people who mean the world to me barely realize I exist anymore, even when I try and be an active member in there life. Plus maybe I am a little bitter that I never got a thankyou when I sent one of my friends a birthday gift... I don't need much from people but I don't think an occasional hi or even a thank you is asking for to much... I mean really?

But at the end of the day I'll get over it. But I don't think I'll ever get use to being lonely, maybe I need to get out more often, maybe I also just need to move out sometime soon (knock on wood that will happen soon) I guess I just miss someone holding me and actually pretending they understand me... I don't remember the last time I actually had a real connection with somebody... But I do remember the recent strings of disappointment... But then I guess that's part of life.

Yet the saddest thing of all about this is the best offers I have had to date were one customer who asks me out repeatedly and my one coworker who has asked me out, who I have even made out with yet at the end of the day were just friends for maybe obvious reasons. Oh then recently there was the really cute black chick who was flirting with me at the aquarium of the pacific. Yet me being me I realized it a tad to late and I wasn't with anyone who would kick my ass and make me take the bull by the horn so to speak...

*sigh* this life of mine is kind of sad at late, but hey nothing sucks for ever! that much I know...

Stale || Fresh

Leftovers...

A life time isn't aslong as it use to be - August 24, 2006
Heart bleeding in the end - May 05, 2006
Heads spinning - March 17, 2006
Kind of interesting - February 23, 2006
ten years in the making - February 19, 2006