I went to the movies saw phantom which was a big disappointment... But the worst thing about tonight was my brain went to places that I fear it to go. Maybe it was the music that took me back to a different time in my life maybe it was just the images and having to sit there forever?
So my brain went on a strange odyssey, and well now my head hurts from all the things swirling in my head.

I can't remember what she looked like or the way she said my name. I realize knowing this hurts me in ways that I haven't hurt in a long time. I hate myself for getting rid of everything I wish like people I know I had a box of stuff... But it's too late to go back now...

I remember her shoes, her snake speedy, and I remember how her body fit perfectly into mine as we slept.

All these years and sometimes when I wake in the morning and I have my pillow tucked under my chin I still think, I still feel that it's her. Maybe it's her spirit visiting me maybe it's just a pillow and an over active imagination?

Now a days I can go days without dwelling it will be a split second a memory that comes and goes in a flash...

But the little things I remember are nothing it's like giving a crumb to a starving man.... I want to be able to remember it all I want to hear her and see her... I want to know if what I remember is even close to the truth...

I want to not be jealous of my friends because they get to have an ex because they get to remember there first loves in a non tainted kind of way...

I want to not be here typing this with a blind splitting headache crying.

I'm just going to say I'm crying because my head hurts...

No it's not because I feel cheated in some way because I feel stupid, because I feel like my heart is braking all over again...

I'm just wishing for a smile....

Stale || Fresh

Leftovers...

A life time isn't aslong as it use to be - August 24, 2006
Heart bleeding in the end - May 05, 2006
Heads spinning - March 17, 2006
Kind of interesting - February 23, 2006
ten years in the making - February 19, 2006