Okay so to say I'm not feeling to sure about anything at the moment would be an understatement. However strangest thing happened last night well, that is something interesting happened some where in between me slipping in the bathroom and cutting my finger with a butcher knife.
My mom as crazy as she is, and as annoyingly vocal she has been about me trying to move. Or for that matter do anything out of the realm of what's expected of me was the last person I would have thought would give me any kind of motivational speech. Let alone be vocal to the extent of wanting to help me. I mean up until this point the only one really on the band wagon besides Lolly has been surprisingly my Father and that took me months to build up the balls to talk to him about it... I know it's silly but what can I say my parents usually my Father rules with an Iron fist so everything to some extent has to pass his inspection or something. Which is one of the reasons why I want to, no need to get out of here...
I guess I just feel like I'm living my life for everyone else, and when I get to that point where I know I'll disappoint I just loose a sense as to who I am. I know it's stupid and most people, especially ones who don't know me are rolling there eyes. Okay I'm sure some people who do know me are also rolling there eyes.

But I don't know maybe it's because I've never known anyone who has really had the same kind of crazy parental units I feel like I'm the only one out there doing it just like this. I mean how fucked up is it that yours truly feels like a royal fuck up because I can't seem to do anything according to how it was set up for me? It's pathetic I mean I'm constantly wondering why I can't seem to get my act together!

hmmm I never finish anything It's high time that I actually make something to the finish line... But you know what that means don't you? Yup that means I have to try doing something and I have to see it all the way to the bitter end. (the joy!)

I think I wish my life was like one of those movies... You know the ones where a rich uncle dies and leaves you all his money and his business, and somewhere between point a and point B you find you like his business and having money aint that bad either.

*sigh* why is reality way more fucked up then the movies?

Stale || Fresh

Leftovers...

A life time isn't aslong as it use to be - August 24, 2006
Heart bleeding in the end - May 05, 2006
Heads spinning - March 17, 2006
Kind of interesting - February 23, 2006
ten years in the making - February 19, 2006