When I was a little kid all I wanted to do was grow up....Growing up always seemed like the answers to my prayers... It meant I would be able to do something real with my life, and I wouldn't cry so fucking much. I wouldn't get hit and I wouldn't have to put up with being told I'm not good enough... Not pretty enough, that I don't try hard enough....

So I grew up and yet still remain a child...

And now what I know is as (someone's) child sooner or later you grow to the point where everything comes crashing around you... You may not get hit anymore because when you hit 16 you were told you were too old to be hit. And maybe you only get verbally put down every now and then. Okay and maybe your constantly pushed to do something "more" with your life and you know you should do something HUGE with your life....

But when everything crashes down you just don't care anymore...

When you stop caring, when you stop reacting when breathing seems hard enough and you resent the people who brought you up.... And your fucking up on some sick level just to bother your parents what then? When all you want to do is prove them all wrong but something in you wont let you... What the fuck do you do?

Growing up sucks... But then again maybe I'm doing it wrong?

I'm just in self pity mode so ignore me...

Stale || Fresh

Leftovers...

A life time isn't aslong as it use to be - August 24, 2006
Heart bleeding in the end - May 05, 2006
Heads spinning - March 17, 2006
Kind of interesting - February 23, 2006
ten years in the making - February 19, 2006