It's strange how every mothers day I get a little sad... Not because I don't have a mother! Because lord knows I have one of the best mothers in the entire world... But more so because it makes me kind of sad for what I don't have... The unknown of what my birth mother looks, feels, and acts like. Mothers day makes me wonder if she is thinking of the one she lost, the one she gave up. It makes me wonder if I was a huge mistake, not just my birth but the actual act of giving me up... Was that a mistake also? Would this woman who carried me if I was raised by her would she be my best friend like my Mom is... Would our fights be nothing more then ten min of annoyance like I have now? Would she simply ignore the lesbianism, would she still even let me live in her house?

I know none of this matters because when you grow up like I did... When you have almost all the opportunities in the world... When you have two brothers you would take a bullet for, and a father who gave you almost everything you ever wished for.. Even with his many faults, even with all the scars.... When you know at the end of the day you have had a good life.. That you have a good life, because you know I really do, my life besides the occasional bump and turn in the rode has been extremely good....

Stale || Fresh

Leftovers...

A life time isn't aslong as it use to be - August 24, 2006
Heart bleeding in the end - May 05, 2006
Heads spinning - March 17, 2006
Kind of interesting - February 23, 2006
ten years in the making - February 19, 2006