I had/have this friend who put our friendship on hold because I'm an emotional fuck up and I ended up hurting her feelings when I had no idea I was doing such a thing and I'm sure there are other reasons that my brain can't compute into words at the moment.

So I went from hurt to annoyed to throwing my hands up in the air and saying to hell with the situation. You see when I sat down and really thought about it I had to decide what to do... On the one hand I could adhere to there ultimatums and ignore the feelings I had about the situation, I could get really angry about how they decided to throw this on me at a time I was internally reliving bad memory's from my past, a boss who was making my life a miserable mess, money and health issues (*yes Mark I still have to take care of the medical stuff) and on top of that the day before all of this went down I had to and am still getting over the loss of my Grandfather. Because yes Troy is and was the closest thing I have ever had to a Grandfather, which in some ways still makes me sad because my grandparents by "blood" aren't or weren't nearly as close to me as Troy was.

So all of this just felt like a weight on me and to add one more thing to it just sucked. But I had/have to deal with the lemons that are thrown at me... What else is there to do?

So to surprise to some I pick myself off the floor and dust myself off and I learn to deal. I take charge and change the things I can and I try and be happy... Which at the moment isn't actually a hard task at all...

Sure I wish things were different, but some things you can't change and the things you can.... Well, those things take a little bit of time and a small dash of luck.

Stale || Fresh

Leftovers...

A life time isn't aslong as it use to be - August 24, 2006
Heart bleeding in the end - May 05, 2006
Heads spinning - March 17, 2006
Kind of interesting - February 23, 2006
ten years in the making - February 19, 2006