I'm 23 years old and I feel like someone has put a plastic bag over my head....

Yes oddly enough I'm happy with most things in my life....

But then there's the moment I walk in the door and I feel the rope tightening around my neck... I feel like every last once of whatever is or was good about me is being taken away, like at any moment I'll turn around and my outside world the world that keeps me safe will disappear. I know it sounds silly but it's not as silly as it sounds...

I hate being controlled, feeling like I'm a horse that is being broken in. But like I'm just so stubborn every day they crack the whip harder they make me feel smaller take away the last little originality that I have... They bitch and moan and wear me down to the point of who I am doesn't matter.

If you know anything about Star Trek it's like being a Borg.

I know what I think, how I feel, who I love, and who I spend time around is all valid. That all these things should have a loud welcoming presence in my life... But they don't, and I'm tired of pushing back. I keep pushing, keep shoving and nothing really changes unless things getting worse is a change.

And I hate it and I know I should rebel and rise up but you can only rebel so much... You can only meet an occasion for so long... And I know I should rebel, especially when you can see how it's changing you on the outside...

But then again what does it all matter?

I'll be authentic in another time and place...

Stale || Fresh

Leftovers...

A life time isn't aslong as it use to be - August 24, 2006
Heart bleeding in the end - May 05, 2006
Heads spinning - March 17, 2006
Kind of interesting - February 23, 2006
ten years in the making - February 19, 2006