I'm more then exhausted at this sinking feeling I have in the pit of my stomach. This feeling that at any moment my friends will figure out what everyone else has figure out about me and head for the fucking hills. Not to mention this uneasy feeling that rests in my bones. This knowledge that at the moment there are no guarantees what so ever in my life. Okay so I know there's no guarantees on anything but I don't know if I can handle anymore let downs... I don't think I'll be able to dream or hope anymore if one more thing just turns out to hit a dead end. I know most of my life is my own fault and the rest of it all it just doesn't make any sense.

And well, I'm never going to find the answers for the things that aren't my fault so why worry about those things?!?!

I think at the moment I really just want the voices in my head to shut up and to just make one thing in my life work out.

Maybe I'd feel better if I wasn't 23 being treated like I'm still in high school... Living in a house where what everyone wants me to be is the only thing that matters. I'm tired of living in a house where all the truths are distorted. Where I'm constantly being asked to jump and knowing I better ask how high. Hell I'm just tired of being 23 and not being allowed to keep my room the way I want to keep it...

But on the bright side (I guess) I'm not being constantly put down for how I look anymore... Good thing I grew my hair out I'm sure....

Stale || Fresh

Leftovers...

A life time isn't aslong as it use to be - August 24, 2006
Heart bleeding in the end - May 05, 2006
Heads spinning - March 17, 2006
Kind of interesting - February 23, 2006
ten years in the making - February 19, 2006