Okay so everything in my life seems to be slightly getting back on the right track. I've gotten over things I thought I would never put to rest. I've gotten a new job, and I'm making a conscious effort to just be a better person. Yet I still can't seem to figure out the important people in my life.

Lots of times in the past I would think that it was all on me, but somewhere on the journey I realized things are really a give and take kind of thing. You know most things are 50/50 at least I think so...

I wish I could hold on to those I feel falling away, the ones that I know I could never not care about.

My Mom in that way that moms can hold so much wisdom sometimes tells me that some people at least the really good ones only stop in for a brief moment and then there gone again... Almost as if they had never stopped in at all, but you always will feel it.

I think in a lot of ways this could be true, but in so many ways I don't want that to be true! In the last two years I have been special enough to have had these amazing people enter my life. Some I guess have come and gone like Kristina, Flower, Allie, Tanya. I think out of them I'll miss Krinstina the most I think she taught me more then any other person I have ever met. She was a lucky star when I really needed one ... and then there's people who thirty years from now If I never talk to them again I'd still think of them as family. These people I'm not sure if anything will ever be like it was. Frankly I don't want things to be the same because everything needs to evolve but it sucks when you feel like you want something you can't get. Like Mark and Jenny I'll always be bonded with and then there's Ashleigh and Dustin two people who got me a little too fast... I think I miss just the loudness of Ashleigh yet the quietness that she possessed when you new she was really listening. As for Dustin I think no matter what I'll miss all of him, there's nothing I'd ever want to change but most of all I think I just miss talking to him... Sometimes I think his eyes tell the hole story... I wish he knew what I know, but I guess it doesn't matter.

As for people I met recently mostly are coworkers and I'm really going to try and keep in touch with them when I leave. But I'm not going to kid myself the chances I'll be able to maintain such relationships are little to none. But I really am going to try and yeah this isn't one of those things I say I will but I really don't.

I wish I wasn't all nostalgic at the moment, but with all the things that have been going on the last week and the things that are running in my head I can't help it!

Stale || Fresh

Leftovers...

A life time isn't aslong as it use to be - August 24, 2006
Heart bleeding in the end - May 05, 2006
Heads spinning - March 17, 2006
Kind of interesting - February 23, 2006
ten years in the making - February 19, 2006