Finding the right words to how I feel lately is extremely difficult... nothing I start to say really seems to fit the place that I am in mentally. all those little things that keep me content you know stability, staying busy, friends, fight free zones, and actually taking time out for my hobbies! Something which I haven�t done in over a year, all of these things have been able to calm me extremely. Unlike this time last year but at the same time I�m in this limbo area that makes me feel so uneasy. I want to feel good about myself something that despite everything else in my life I haven�t been really feeling. There�s many reasons for this I suppose many things that I wont go into now, but one of the biggest reasons right now is that I just feel so ugh! I miss doing stuff... Like I do things just I use to be active in a more athletic sense and I try to keep active in those kind of ways but It never lasts long because I get bored doing it on my own. Not to mention my lack of self control where food is concerned right now, my problems with over eating has never been this bad and it makes me feel so horrible... So yucky...

I know I need a support group of some kind, a athletic hobby or something....

I don�t think I�m ugly but I feel like everyone else thinks I am... Societies standards and everything.

I feel like I�ll wind up alone because people wont give the fat girl a chance, or because shallow people won�t follow there heart but more so follow what there friends think...

But for now I�m going to shut up because my heart feels heavy and I refuse to cry because this is who I am....

Stale || Fresh

Leftovers...

A life time isn't aslong as it use to be - August 24, 2006
Heart bleeding in the end - May 05, 2006
Heads spinning - March 17, 2006
Kind of interesting - February 23, 2006
ten years in the making - February 19, 2006